I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
