Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
