Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
