we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
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