We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize