is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
