well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I wear drunk well.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
