im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
