Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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