you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
