the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
