hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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