You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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