Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
