i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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