im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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