I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
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She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
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I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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