I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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