we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
