I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
