I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
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