yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
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