waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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