The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Still dying that you shit outside
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
