Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
