Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
