we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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