so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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