i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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