Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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