Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
i now understand why vodka
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
