erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
