i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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