There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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