Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
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