I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
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