Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
My bed smells like the plague
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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