I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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