I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
