Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
