Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
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