Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Randomize
