dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
