You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
