Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
I still have a little drunk in my system
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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