shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
so much tequila, so little girl.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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