it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Randomize
