Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize
