"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
