Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
