I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize