sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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