You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Randomize
