omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
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