I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
