Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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