maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
