Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
