you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
my being single is dangerous.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
