You can't special order awesome
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Randomize
