Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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